Under Construction

Ben is under construction to serve you (but mostly Him) better. Please pardon the inconvenience

Why can't I forgive?

Yes. It is an interesting thing. It is one of the commandments that we all know what should follow, we can quote the scriptures, we can tell someone else to do it, we can say we do it, say we did it....and yet not do it. Maybe it's just a thorn in the flesh that God is not delivering us from for a reason. Maybe us holding unforgiveness brings some greater good, like helping others to be able to move on and not be waiting for someone to say I'm sorry.

I will say I saw a clip of Passion of the Christ Where they had just erected the cross and the thief started mocking Christ. The "good thief" asked for forgiveness. Huge moment - in the midst of Christ brokeness, he was able to forgive the breakers. Not after he had healed, but while all of his wombs were open.

Was Paul OCD?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder most commonly characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at preventing some imagined dreaded event; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected to the imagined dreaded event.

According to the current epidemiological data, OCD is the fourth most common mental disorder and OCD is considered nearly as common as asthma and diabetes mellitus.[1] In the United States, 1 in 50 adults have OCD.[2] In severe cases, it affects a person's ability to function in everyday activities. The disorder often has a serious impact on the sufferer's (and his/her family's) quality of life. Also, the psychological self-awareness of the irrationality of the disorder can be painful. For people with severe OCD, it may take several hours a day to carry out the compulsive acts.

Experts[who?] believe OCD may be related to levels of a normal chemical in the brain called serotonin. When the proper flow of serotonin is blocked, the brain's "alarm system" overreacts. Danger messages are mistakenly triggered. Instead of the brain filtering out these unnecessary thoughts, the brain dwells on them—and the person repeatedly experiences unrealistic fears and doubts.

The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has become part of the English lexicon, and is often used in an informal or caricatured manner to describe someone who is meticulous, perfectionistic, absorbed in a cause, or otherwise fixated on something or someone.[3] Although these signs are often present in OCD, a person who exhibits them does not necessarily have OCD, and may instead have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) or some other condition.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder


This will have a couple purposes. The first is to raise awareness of mental health issues. I now get aggrevated when I hear jokes about people with mental issues. Preachers poke fun at people taking Prozac, and kids that are ADHD. Where does this dark comedy come from? It is mostly because people to not fully understand this illnesses, and

So what does this have to with Paul? Man, I am glad ya'll ask so many questions. Here goes.

Saul was a well educated Jew. He was a student of Old Testament law, and new it in and out. He was trained by "the church". At some point he saw something that bothered him....people worshipping a man named Jesus. You and I know the Christ is our saviour, but Paul had issue. Why? Because, this went against everything that he had been taught. And I mean Saul was not just a C student. I know this because of his references to old testament scriptures in his many new testament letters. I think of Saul as the geek in the class. You remember the one that only studied, and had no life! That was Saul. If it was not in the old testament, he was not interested.

So he knew the law, and then he mixed in what seemed to be a toxic attribute.....obsessiveness. If Saul did not meet the definition of OCD, I challenge some Psychologist to explain why not. He was so passionate about a "perceived threat" that he was willing to kill for it. Now killing seems extreme, but you have to put it in perspective. In that time, it was the ultimate of wrongs to proclaim anyone to be as Holy as God. The jews did not first accept Christ as their saviour, so they killed Him. Paul was just living out a combination of how well he knew "the word" and his obsessive tendencies.

But he had not met Christ. So Paul is off to today, what he did so well, kill some Christians. He was not just going to knock off a couple, Wikipedia says he was going to anialate them. It was on his way that he met Christ. What is very interesting to me is that it was not a powerful sermon, followed by a couple lines of "come to Jesus" and the a pastor's out-stretched hands that they met. It was actually a pretty violent event. Enough so, that Paul fell down, and was blinded by Jesus. Wow.

Have you ever had an encounter in your life like that. We usually associate this with salvation, but I want to spin it a little. I believe that some of us have these moments smack dab in the middle of doing what we think God wants us to do. For those of us that are obsessive, it takes a little bit more than "He will save you, right now, right now."

Another point I want to raise is the "new Paul" Jesus changed his name to symbolize the change in side. So, was Paul delivered from OCD? I love to read/hear the scripture where Paul talked about praying thrice (three times for the unchurched...lol) for God to take something bad from him. Was it OCD that Paul was trying to get rid of? We don't know, so the blogger will use poetic license. Maybe it was, or at least was one of Paul's overwhelming issues. We all have at least one. We all have the one thing we know we should not do, but still do. Just ask David. So, Paul kept asking God, and God kept saying no. I will not take it from you. My grace is all you need to handle it.

So here is the juicy part. Maybe Paul's OCD was not a bad thing. I mean when he met Christ, what did he do. He obsessed. Same issue, new direction. He did not stop dancing, just changed partners.

I believe that God is calling to people that have fought themselves over "faults". Those of us who have been labeled, misunderstood, insecure, over something that God gave you. David told us in Psalm that we are beautifully, and wonderfully made. By the way, David was a murderer, judgemental, and he slept (though there was no much snoring) with another man's wife....yet a man after God's own heart.

Pray today that God will reveal your thorn in the flesh is. Ask God if you need to stop praying for him to take it away, and just start praying for His grace to use it for His glory. That's what Paul did.

Salad #53 - Where's the Change?

Ok, to answer the question in your mind, no I am not on a diet. But, I know a couple people who are. It is amazing how the first of a new year causes us to want to change. Not sure if it is the drunkin party for some, a sudden realization of mortality....regrets about the mistakes of the past year...a unexplainable feeling of expectancy for the new year.

So, its Day 53...where are you? I have been eating sympathy salads on some days with a buddy of mine who's on a diet. He has eaten a salad almost everydya. I'm not really trying hard to lose weight, but I feel guilty sitting with him eating a salad, and me eating a double quarter with chees, no onions, no pickles, supersize fries, and a large Coke with easy ice. Why, cause change is hard enough as it is. My friend does not need me reminding him of the mistakes of his past.

Change is hard! Why, cause by nature, it is easier to keep going the way we are going. If I am driving down a highway, it takes almost no effort to keep going. Changing paths requires a turn signal, brakes, checking traffic, making sure you have the right exit. It's a work out. It reminds me of a church outing. We were going to Buncomb Baptist Church. Ya'll this church was waaaayyyy in the sticks. I had some real nice directions that I was following real well. 52 South to exit ###. Make a right. Make a left at Knootz road when you see Tarheel Q. Hmmm. I see the restaurant, but no Knootz road. I drive....and drive....Ok. now I am not so sure now. I did see a Koontz Road at the restaurant.

Decision time. Do I keep going or do I turn around? Better make a phone call....I call the number and their was a typo on the directions. It was Koontz. Now I am 15-20 minutes out of the way, and I am already running late.

Ben, why in the world did you tell me all that. I tell you that because such is our road to the change God desires for us. At the beginning of this year, change was in the air. We had just elected the first black president. Our econony was hitting rock bottom, bouncing a few times off the bottom. The words of an old Thomas Whitfield tune come to mind....

"We need a word from the Lord,
A word from the Lord,
Just one word from the Lord,
Can remove all the doubts.
And cause the sun to shine,
and give us peace of mind,
Speak lord.....speeeeek"

Vicki Winans redid the tune and added this

"Your latter will be greater than your past"

Yes change is still coming. For some it may not have manifested. My buddy has not lost as much as he would like, but he has made progress. In your case, there was no typo on the directions God gave. You heard him right. You are on the right path. This time you are in a better place. God had to take you through the worst of times, in order to bring you into the best of times.

A preacher preached this morning about the prayer of Jabez. If you have not read it...google it NOW! God desires to birth you into your latter. Your destination is just ahead. It will not take another New Year's broken promise. This is your year.

Receive this word. It is so.

Let' Get Naked for Christ - Part 3 - Back to Eden

When I left the last blog on this subject, I was thinking about the end result for God's Christ plan....to get us back to Eden. It is interesting to note that archeologists are looking for the garden, hoping to prove/disprove it existed. Some suspect it is somewhere in Africa. What do I think? For the purpose of this discussion, let's just say Eden was where God was.

Genesis tells a sweet story about man's initial relationship with God. There were no distractions, no sin. All Adam had to do was name stuff! He and Eve were in the best place they could be....communion with God. Talk about intimacy!

I will not try to dive into the whole fall of man story, but I want to highlight a couple things that speak about transparency. The first is the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Until then, all Adam and his boo knew were each other, God and his wonderful creations. They were naive in the best way.

Again, not trying to go real deep just yet, but the fruit on this tree gave them awareness. It is way to interesting to me that after they ate the fruit, the first thing they realized was that they were naked. Was this a bad thing? God's Word tells me that God looked at his creation and said it was good. David, with is jacked up life (yes I said that, and I will explain in another post. Gotta keep you coming back...lol), said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

So why would they cover up? A deeper question is why would God not want us to have this kind of awareness? They covered up because of their perception of themselves.

Gotta go....more to come.

Emotional Math - For Those Not As Happy About the Love Holiday

Ok. This is gonna be a tough one to write, and maybe tough to read, but we will get through it together.

I am a math student, a technical mind. My wife will tell you that, in a minute. If life were as simple as plugging numbers into a formula, I would be aceing the course, but it is not quite that simple. Life is emotional math -- we add, and we take away. We add by sharing kind words, praying, reading, fellowshiping...But, as life always has another side, we take away. We take away by not sharing kind words (or worse sharing unkind words), not praying...you get the point. Simple math, right? If the good just outweighed the bad, things would be fine. Unfortunately, it is too often the other way around.

In our hast, insufficient effort, and sometimes just being unaware, we are subtracting from those around us. And yeah, I hear you saying, people are doing that to me too. Be patient with them. They are human. So what do we do?

When we get low, we want to be able to pull strength from those close to us. Unfortunately, since they are human, they cannot always supply. Often, they are dealing with something bigger than themselves already. When King David had come back from a big battle, he found his home destroyed. The enemy had come in, taken his stuff, his wives, kids, killed people. I am sure David wanted to say, "God, I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do. How could you let this happen." But, the bible says that he encouraged himself in the Lord. In other words, he had to dig deep and draw on strength that he had within. He want on to pursue the enemy and get his stuff back. We also tend to overlook the ministrering angels God has placed around us. I believe God puts people close to us, to minister to some of our needs.

Someone sent me a song by Hope's Call named "You Are Loved"

You are loved beyond your failures,
You are loved beyond your past.
The scars of your forgiveness,
Are engraved upon the Lord.
You are loved.

These are just some of the words. I have been listening to it over and over and over. Having trouble forgiving yourself? Have trouble "getting" forgiveness from someone you hurt? Know today that you are loved (by Him and me) and that you are already forgiven.

As I am taking time to "add" to you today, take some time to "add" to every person you cross today...the McDonald's drive thru person (the lady in the drive through "added" to me this morning), the person at the gas pump with you..most of all the people right next to you. I am stepping out on a limb, but I bet they are feeling "in the negative." If we all do that, we will change at least our small world..."each one reach one".

You are loved.

Let's Get Naked - For Christ

Ok. I have to start this one by saying that this may offend some (especially the title) but I feel led to share it, so here goes...

Genesis 8 In the cool of the evening, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking around in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees in the garden. 9 The LORD God called to the man and asked him, "Where are you?" 10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden. I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid." 11 God asked, "Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat fruit from the tree I commanded you not to eat from?"

Before sin, we were naked. (more on this in a later post)


There is a very disturbing trend in the body of Christ. We have somehow become a people that wants to hide everything...well, not everything. There are two main things we are trying to hide.

Mistakes/Sin - Somewhere down the line, we decided that is was better to hide our sins. Many of us have done wrong, and rather than telling anyone we cover it up. I am reminded of a time when I was in about the 3rd grade. I was supposed to be writing a daily journal for school, and my Mom was supposed to sign so that she knew I was doing it. Me, and my procrastinating self did not do the daily journal. When it was time to turn it in, I paniced. I wrote a bunch of stuff (wish I had it now) and then forged my Mom's signature. Oops, I messed up so I erased it and tried again. Oops again, one more time....Long story short it took several attempts to get it right. There was a couple problems. A, I was doing it in ink, which for some did not erase real well. B, you remember how notebook paper does the more you erase in one spot? I am laughing at my dumb self as I type this. It looked crazy!!!! Then, like an idiot....I turned it in. The rest of the story I will not share. Like Steve Harvey, he ain't through wit me yet.

Blessings - How crazy is it for God to bless us and us not even be able to tell other saved folk around us. How many times did God bless you with a huge some of money, and you kept it quiet so your friends would not come a callin? How many times did God bless you with a luxury car, and you did not tell too many people right away for fear that they would think you were rich. Ever saw a handsome dude, and did not tell him for fear that he would think you were comin' on to him? Guys, have you seen a beautiful lady and did not tell her cause you were afraid of what could happen.

Have you ever wanted to share with co-workers your faith, but did not because it is politically incorrect. They cuss around you, tell dirty jokes, but you cannot say Jesus around them. Here is the worst....how many times have you seen someone in the same sin you were in, and did not reach out to them....cause you didn't want anybody to know.

What's the problem? Glad you asked! You never know who might need to know what you are trying to cover up. I have found in my struggles that there are many people around me that are fighting the same battles. Problem is, we keep our mouths shut.

Why do we do this? Shame, humility (why we might not share blessings),doctrine (I call it 'name it claim it'...we are taught to only see the good stuff and not the bad)

IMPORTANT NOTE - I am not telling you to go out and put your life on blast (tell your business, for the older folk). As in every other move in your life, what you see MUST be led by the Spirit. What I am suggesting to you is that I believe God has been trying to get us to share things, and we have stayed silent. The bible says that we overcome by our testimonies. Our lives are testimonies of God's goodness, and delivering power. The gospel Hip Hop artist said that our lives are open books, how does yours read. The ironic thing is that we have tried so hard to make ourselves look good, that the world sees us as phoneys....or to use their word hypocrites.

So what should I do? I've gotta ask God to forgive me for being quite, when I should have spoken....for committing one of the biggest sins....disobedience. From this day on, I will listen when he tells me to speak, and when he tells me to shut my mouth.

Christ came to put us on course to return to intimicy with God....to be continued

Dreams

Dreams are free, so free your dreams. ~Astrid Alauda

Seasons - It's Your Time

Seasons, by Donald Lawrence

I feel the seasons everywhere
And I feel blessings in the air
Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own.
Seasons, walk into your season.

I feel seasons everywhere
I feel blessings in the air
Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own.
Seasons, walk into your season
Walk into your season.

I believe we're in a time
when God's gonna bless the saints.
Those who have stayed, those who have prayed
He's going to fulfill the promise He made.
For I heard the Spirit say, its your time.
The wait is over,Walk into your season.
I feel seasons everywhere.
I feel blessings in the air.

Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own,
Seasons, walk into your season
Walk into your season

I know that you invested a lot
The return has been slow
You throw up your hands and say I give up
I just can't take it anymore.
But, I hear the Spirit say
That it's your time, the wait is over
Walk into your season

You survive the worst of times
God was always on your side
Stake you claim, write your name
Walk into this wealthy place.
The wait is over; its your time

The words of this song say a lot. This is one of those songs that everyone wanted to apply to their situation when it came out....me included. We all want, when things are bad, to be able to "name it and claim it". We want to be able to speak to the storm, and it cease. But, we are still here. We gone through all the prosperity messages, listened to all the songs, been to the conferences, paid tithes, but we are still here.

Is God not listening, am I still doing something wrong? Am I not praying enough? Am I praying too much about the same issue? Is it just gonna be like this always? Did I misunderstand God? Did God say something and I was not listening? Questions, questions, questions.

This is a word for someone today. I must start by saying that this does not apply to everyone. One thing I have learned is that God sends out His word, but it is not for everyone that hears it at that particular time. To those He is speaking to, I just want to let you know that God often works in seasons. Just like he showed us in His creation, some things have to happen at certain times. So you have been in your winter....some of us for a long time. I say to you that God is about to bring some into spring. Will Smith said, "spring will come after winter, like it always does." It is amazing how we know its gonna get cold, but still complain. Today is a prime example. We have had so much cold weather, I was praising God for being able to roll down the windows, and pop the top. Why, because I had gone through winter, and now can more appreciate the spring.

"Today is a new day. Forgot about the problems of yesterday" (Lisa McClendon). I believe God is bringing us into a new place in him, the seasons are changing. We have experienced terrible times in America, but they just set the stage for an unlikely man to be president. Though I do not believe he can do much on his own, I do believe that God put him in position to exemplify the change the God, not man, is bringing to the country. Deeper still, I believe that those of us who have waited, been faithful over a few, are about to rule over many.

Is that you? Well, walk into your season, then!!!!

Clarity in Chaos

(By Ruth Jones)
In times like these you need a Savior
In times like these you need an anchor;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!
Chorus
This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One;
This Rock is Jesus, the only One!
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

God, I intercede on behalf of your people trying to keep their jobs. I first of all say thank you for the blessing you have been to us. We have watched so many around us lose jobs, homes, vehicles, and you have had mercy on us. We sit not prideful, because we know it was only because of your mercy we have not been consumed. Though we would like for things to have been better, we thank you that they have not been worse.

God I pray that you touch the leadership of companies. God we touch and agree for wisdom, strength, and compassion for the people employed.

God, I also pray for the strength of the employees. We have been through so much, and admit that we are weary. We need your help. It is hard to say, but like Paul, we know that ‘it was good that we were afflicted.’ The worst of times, has brought out the best in us. For this we thank you.

God I pray not for any certain outcome, but that your divine will be done. I pray for physical, emotional, and spiritual strength for all those effected – employees and their families. We admit that we cannot handle this, but know that you can.

Give us all peace in the midst of this storm, clarity in the midst of chaos. Help us to know that even our afflictions are part of your plan. Because of that we have peace, knowing that you’ve got this in control. Though we cannot see it right now, we know that better is on the way. As Will Smith said, “spring will come after winter, like it always does.”

So we put this in your hands….it is too heavy for us to bear. Our limits are your starting points.

It is so.

What's in your wallet?

God has given us all gifts and talents. I learned watching the movie "All About Us" that there is a difference between a talent and a gift. A talent is something you do well, a gift is something more. What has God given you to do?

Fear is the enemy of success.

Are you pulling or being pulled?

Someone shared this with me.

We can be divided into two categories....those who pull others up, and those that have to be pulled. Makes me think about lobsters. To be fair, sometimes the roll changes. Anyway, which one are you...most of the time?